The God Who Loves You -- 翻译练习 (那个爱你的神)

The God Who Loves You by Carl Dennis	那个爱你的神 [美] 卡尔·丹尼斯
It must be troubling for the god who loves you   To ponder how much happier you’d be today   Had you been able to glimpse your many futures. It must be painful for him to watch you on Friday evenings   Driving home from the office, content with your week— Three fine houses sold to deserving families— Knowing as he does exactly what would have happened   Had you gone to your second choice for college,   Knowing the roommate you’d have been allotted   Whose ardent opinions on painting and music   Would have kindled in you a lifelong passion.   A life thirty points above the life you’re living   On any scale of satisfaction. And every point   A thorn in the side of the god who loves you.   You don’t want that, a large-souled man like you Who tries to withhold from your wife the day’s disappointments   So she can save her empathy for the children.   And would you want this god to compare your wife   With the woman you were destined to meet on the other campus?   It hurts you to think of him ranking the conversation   You’d have enjoyed over there higher in insight   Than the conversation you’re used to. And think how this loving god would feel   Knowing that the man next in line for your wife   Would have pleased her more than you ever will   Even on your best days, when you really try.   Can you sleep at night believing a god like that Is pacing his cloudy bedroom, harassed by alternatives   You’re spared by ignorance? The difference between what is And what could have been will remain alive for him   Even after you cease existing, after you catch a chill   Running out in the snow for the morning paper, Losing eleven years that the god who loves you   Will feel compelled to imagine scene by scene   Unless you come to the rescue by imagining him   No wiser than you are, no god at all, only a friend   No closer than the actual friend you made at college, The one you haven’t written in months. Sit down tonight   And write him about the life you can talk about   With a claim to authority, the life you’ve witnessed,   Which for all you know is the life you’ve chosen.	对于那个爱你的神，这一定让他伤透脑筋 为你今天的幸福可以增加几分而纠结不停 假如你能窥见你的将来，那种种的可能。 对他来说一定于心不忍，看着你在星期五的晚上 从办公室驾车回家，对自己的这个星期心满意足—— 售出了三套靓宅，卖给了当对的家庭—— 因为，既然为神，他当然知道当初 假如你去了选中的第二所大学，一切又会被如何安排 因为他知道，那个和你分在一起的室友 他对绘画和音乐那些激情四射的见解 将如何点燃你一生的热爱。 那将是比你现在所过高上三十点的生活 无论在哪个层面和尺度。而每一个点 都让那个爱你的神如坐针毡。 你不想让他那样，像你这样格局宏大的人 每天的失落都自己担当 把妻子的同情心都留给孩子。 而你难道还想让这个神把你的妻子 和那个你在另一个校园注定相遇的女子做个对比不成？ 一想到他会对那些交谈做出评判你就黯然伤神 那些你现在习以为常的话题又怎能和那些 你本可以在那里尽情享受、妙趣横生的相提并论。 再想想这个敬爱的神自己会是什么心情 他明知为你妻子安排的第二个候选男士 比你在任何时候都更能博得她的欢心 就算上你最风光的那些日子，且你也已竭尽所能。 在夜晚安睡的时候，你相不相信这样的一个神 徘徊于他云雾笼罩的卧室，被那些个备选方案 搅得心神不宁？你免受煎熬只因为你的无知 但对他来说现实和本来可以之间的差距就是一个现实 甚至在你不复存在之后 在你跑进雪地取晨报而着凉之后 失去了十一年的时间，那个爱你的神 将不得不地一幕又一幕地去反复设想那些场景 除非你倒过来为他设想并以此获得救赎： 他并不比你更加高明，根本就谈不上神，而只是一个友人 也不比你在大学里交的真实的朋友更加亲近 你好几个月都没再给他写信的那个。今晚就坐下来 给他写一写那些你能以主人的身份谈论的生活 你所亲眼目睹的生活，就你所知的一切 是你自己的选择。